Seducing the Duchess

That was kinda, almost deep. A story of strength, courage, growth, and (if you ever saw Serendipity) jackassery.
Philip, our hero, will do just about anything to win his wife's forgiveness and love. Including seducing then divorcing her. Wait, what? Yep. Seducing then divorcing. But you have to give the people what they want. Say it with me. Give the people what they want! And Charlotte, Philip's wife, wants nothing short of divorce.
And he'll give it to her. Right after she teaches him to be the ideal husband.
I won't tell you exactly what my Sherlock Holmesing uncovered, but I was right; conspiracies and cover ups galore! So go get your Heff jacket, your Bart Simpson bubble pipe, and a magnifying glass and get to work.
Enjoy. xoxo

First Look: Seducing the Duchess

Ashley March, Ashley March, Ashley March. Whatever am I going to do with you? Probably nothing, but I am going to review your book. And as I am 3 chapters in, that means it's once again time for a First Look. This time, Seducing the Duchess.
Now this one's interesting. The man trying to seduce the Duchess is no other than (drum roll please!) HER HUSBAND!
No, you read that right. HER HUSBAND. Not only that, but he kidnaps her. Serves her right, the unfaithful doxy. But I smell conspiracy, I smell cover up! (Congrats if you got that reference.)
But I leave you now. I have to go get a black clay pipe and a smoking jacket so I can Sherlock Holmes the truth out of these two not-so-happily married persons.
Enjoy. I know I sure will. xoxo

A Most Scandalous Engagement

Am I drooling? It must be because Peter is scrumdiddlyumptious. Talk about a sweet man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. (What a mighty, mighty good man.) He loves her, but she loves this guy over here. ( Sorry for all the song and movie references already. But not really. Get over it.) Now that Elizabeth no longer needs his protection, she wants to break off their fake engagement.
Only problem is, Peter doesn't want to. The past few weeks have made him fall even more in love with dear Elizabeth. Not to mention all the stolen kisses and naked carriage rides through the park.
But if you love something, set it free, and that's just what Peter does.
So wait. The guy doesn't get the girl?
Come on, people! Get with the program. It's called a romance because it has a happily ever after. If not, it would be called main stream fiction. Of course the guy gets the girl. And her naked picture too!
Enjoy. xoxo

First Look: A Most Scandalous Engagement

I open this First Look with an evil grin. I can already tell A Most Scandalous Engagement will be, well, most scandalous. Gayle Callen surely knew what she was doing.
It all begins with a guy and a girl, childhood friends Lady Elizabeth and Poor Peter. They always kept each others secrets and Peter has always been there to protect Elizabeth from her wild ways.
Can you guess it yet? Yep, Peter is madly in love with Elizabeth and has been for years, but Elizabeth thinks of him as "dear, sweet Peter." Ouch. How can a man put such an unattainable woman on even ground?
When she poses for a nude painting and needs protecting in the form of A Most Scandalous Engagement.
Enjoy. I know I sure will. xoxo

Till Dawn with the Devil

Wow. That took an unexpected twist. Or two. The guy still gets the girl, don't get me wrong, but I didn't see that coming until it was in my face saying, "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you!" (Note to self: punch the next person to do that.)
Ms. Alexandra Hawkins, our author, plays the game rather believably. The characters don't magically overcome their pasts, Sophia's eyesight isn't miraculously restored, and Reign isn't a mega jerk while courting her. The Boogeyman is still very much present until the end of the book. It's just that our heroes learn to deal with their nightmares. Kudos to them for taking their lives into their own hands.
And fellas, (yeah?) don't be afraid to read this because it's a romance. If nothing else, standing in the Romance section could get you a phone number or two. ;)
Enjoy. xoxo

First Look: Till Dawn with the Devil

Yep. It's time for some bad, bad romance. It's that time when I start craving junk food (the waking hours). As I write, I'm eating a Hershey's bar and drinking a Coke. First up: Till Dawn with the Devil by Alexandra Hawkins.
The book opens with our hero, Reign, a Lord of Vice. And I feel so sorry for the man. Due to past events and a broken heart, he no longer believes in love.
Until Sophia walks across the crowded ballroom.
Will her ruined eyesight be able to see the gentle man beneath the Rakish mask society has thrust upon him? Of course. After all, it is a bad romance.
Enjoy. I know I sure will. xoxo

The Memory Eater

I am a rare breed; a mutation. As far as I know, I am the first, and only, of my kind to grace the night.
They call me Memory Eater.
Some odd years ago, a plague was released on Earth. Scientists called it a miracle drug. It was supposed to better humanity. Instead, it's been slowly forming roots in the souls of man. Those infected gained sustenance, only, from eating the brains of other humans. I believe Hannibal was among the first. If not, he brought the disease, the plague, into the limelight.
Then there are some that are... resistant to the feeding. Those are the Newly Made; the ones made from the Originals the scientists experimented on.
And then there's me. I was 24 when it happened and freshly married. My bride did not survive.
The one who made me was Basil. He was the first Original. They chose him because of his Alzheimer's. The med student in charge of his meals was his first victim. Being Chosen by Basil is the highest honor of our kind. But my "gift" holds only horror.
So I traveled the world, endlessly, trying to hide, to run, from my fate. I am scorned by the ones who made me. I am shunned by the ones who had known me. I am feared by those I would prey on.
Now, I live in a cave high in the Catskill Mountains surviving off animals like a heathen. But that isn't what I wish to tell you. The story I need to write is her's.
Jeezabelle's.
She was little more than a child when I first saw her. Her blonde curls, tangled and dirty, nearly glowed in the moonlight. But it was her eyes that caught my attention. The pain was almost unbearable. Almost enough to rival my own. And so I followed her in the attempt to sate my curiosity. No one before her had caused me to feel. Not since my turnday.
It wasn't long before she heard rumors of a healer on the top of the mountain and she sought me out. Generations of old wives forgetting that I cannot heal. That I harm. But still she sought me.
"Healer!" she cried after days of searching, her body exhausted, bloodied, and bruised. "Healer! Help me."
Days she wandered and days I let her. At night while she slept, I crept towards her, craving sustenance, knowing I could take what I so desperately needed. But each time my hand neared her's a soft sigh would escape her lips and she would look so much like the child my wife had been.
Then one night, she found my cave. Whether she found it or I unknowingly herded her towards it, I don't know, but she found it nonetheless. I watched as she waited. She sat at the mouth of my cave and waited. Night fell and she waited. And day broke and still she waited. That night, I hid in the shadows and listened to her.
Softly, as if in prayer, she asked me to take her pain. Silent tears rolled down her plump cheeks mingling with the dirt and blood.
"I cannot help you, Jeezabelle."
I didn't remember saying it, but I said it all the same. She stood as her tears intensified.
"But you're the only one who can."
"I am not a healer. I have nothing to take your pain away."
She took a tentative step towards my hiding place.
"It is not my body that hurts me, but my mind."
I grew angry at her.
"Foolish child! Do not seek out Death. Do not make this your fate." I stepped out into the moonlight to her soft gasp. She reached for me then pulled back her hand. "I do not have the power to turn you."
I turned and started to walk further into the forest.
"I do not seek Death, but ignorance."
At her whispered defeat, I stopped. She was no longer crying but her pain, her memories, gripped her tighter.
"Think only of the memory you want to forget and take my hand."
And so started our relationship. Every few months she would come to me. She would give me life and I gave her freedom.
Then one day she came to me with the gilded gold of her hair hidden by brushed silver.
"Jeezabelle," I whispered fondly.
"I am dying, Memory Eater. Take this last sin from me. Let me die in peace."
I nodded and we sat down. She took a few labored breaths. Then she did something she never had before: She touched what was left of my face. At that briefest of caresses, memories flooded my brain and her guilt weighed heavily on my stomach.
I saw her as a young girl, Chosen to find me. Chosen to feed me, sustain me. Fatten me.
Her hand fell from my face. We had both fallen over to lay on the ground during the exchange. With her final breaths, she smiled at me and for once I saw no pain in her eyes.
"Thank you, my friend," she whispered into the inky darkness of the night. I placed her in my cave, the best burial I could give her, and I left.
So I travel the world, endlessly, trying to hide, to run, from my fate. I run from my curse. I run from my memories. I run from the one who would prey on me.
I run from Basil.


This is my entry to @Blackfireink's Memory Eating Zombie Writing Contest. For rules and details go to www.blackfireink.tumblr.com The contest ends at the end of September so get a move on!

First Look: Earthsea Trilogy

I've never read anything by Ursula Le Guin, but I've heard good things. Combine that with my love of the Earthsea special and you get my new reading assignment.
Earthsea was originally published as three separate books, but managed to find them as a trilogy. It's wordy, but in a good way. The writing suits the story perfectly. It sucks me into a different time and place. The words linger with an exotic power that makes me yearn to be a part of the story of Ged, our hero. Now if only I was training to become the most powerful wizard of my time. Harry Potter, meet your predecessor.

First Look: The Maze Runner

A wonderful new collection to my ever expanding library. The YA section to be specific. The fisrt three chapters of The Maze Runner by James Dashner left me feeling awfully confused. And beyond curious. (Which I think was the point.)
If the cool picture on the front cover doesn't draw you in, perhaps the back cover will: A modern teenage boy wakes up in a prehistoric Mayan-esque setting and can only remember his first name? Sure, I'll bite.
I hungrily await the final chapter in what I hope will be an amazing book. If it's not, well... You all can look forward to a nice rant.

Be Excited!

So all of my insomniac nights on twitter have paid off. Kinda. Me and Terry, aka @TennesseeZombie, have been virtual singing on twitter stream. About zombies. And we have decided to write a Zombie Song Book. I know those other guys have written the Zombie Christmas Carols and Love Song Books, but we're better. And we pick better songs. We have a handful written already. Just thought I'd let you all know so you can be as excited as we are. Wish us luck!

Also, my first collection of poetry is almost ready to take to agents! If you're missing my poetry, check out my other blog http://www.libraryintheattic.com

Dinner Night, take 2

Ah! La cuisine française est magnifique. Avec ses petites portions et des mélanges bizarres, qui n'aimerait pas ce menu?

That's right, this week's Romantic Dinner was chock full of traditional French food. Have a look-see at the menu.

Appetizer: Roulade
2T parmesan cheese
1c soft goat cheese
2T assorted chopped herbs (I used mint, basil, and chives)
2T e.v.o.o.
Blend in a food processor and wrap in cooked or cured ham. Cut into pieces like sushi.

Salad: Salade de Tomates et Fromage, served with a warm Bacon Vinaigrette
The salad: tomatoes, cubed/balled mozzerella, basil, sauteed garlic
The vinaigrette: 3T oil; 2T vinegar; 1-3tsp brown sugar; 1/4tsp mustard; 1 pinch celery seed; 1/2T finely minced onion; 1T crumbled bacon. Wisk together over low heat.

Entree: Roasted Chicken with Dijon Sauce
3lbs chicken pieces with skin
1T oil
2 small shallots, thinly sliced
3/4c dry white wine
3/4c reduced sodium chicken broth
1/4c heavy cream
2T dijon mustard
1T finely chopped chives
1.Preheat oven @450 degrees
2. Pat chicken dry, sprinkle with salt and pepper
3. Heat oil in an oven proof pan until simmering
4.Brown chicken, skin side first
5. Put in oven for 15-20 minutes, skin side up
6.Plate chicken
7.Add shallots, wine, and broth to the pan, scraping up brown pieces, reduce by half (roughly 2-3 minutes)
8.Add cream. Boil until slightly thick (roughly 1-2 minutes)
9.Strain sauce and whisk in the rest.

Entremet: Melon au Jambon de bayonne brochette
(Or a fancy way of saying melon balls with ham on a skewer and lightly seared.)

Dessert: Flan
1 1/4c flour
2/3c sugar
4 eggs
4c milk
1tsp vanilla
1 pinch of salt
Butter to grease the pan
1.Preheat oven @425 degrees
2.Sift flour into a bowl, create a crater
3.Add sugar, salt, and beaten eggs into the center
4.Pour in milk, slowly, stirring as you go
5.Stir until smooth, add vanilla
6.Grease and flour deep pie pan, add batter
7. Bake for 45 minutes
8. Refrigerate until cool

So that was our delectable dinner. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. (And still am. Mmm... Flan.) If you would like pictures, go ahead and leave a comment. Also, there WILL NOT be a Romantic Gourmet Dinner Night next week. It's mine and hubby's birthday and we're going out of town for a couple days. Yes, we share the same birthday. And don't worry, tweethearts, I'll have my phone close at hand for awesome birthday updates.

Along Came a Spider- James Patterson

Before I start, just let me take a breather. That was like walking a marathon. Slow and tiring.

Now, before you bring out the tar and feathers, I'll say this: Patterson has good writing. Obviously. If he didn't, he would have 30 million books. But come on! You DO NOT need a new chapter after every "gasp" inducing event. When your book has, seriously, 89 chapters PLUS a prologue and epilogue, that when you know you need some sort of intervention. I've seen books of his with 126 chapters. Really? Do you really need that many? That just gives the reader more incentive to put your book down. "Oh, I read 8 chapters today. I don't care if Alex Cross is on the brink of solving the crime, I read 8 chapters today!" In all actuality, 8 chapters is roughly 20 pages.

Deep breath. Sorry for ranting. Ok, I'm not. But seriously?

The story was good. I felt it was really slow going, though. (It might have been due to all the chapter breaks...) And obviously Alex Cross comes out victorious because he's the star of 14 other books. If so many god forsaken chapters doesn't bother you as much as it did me, I suggest you read it. I know I'll be stalking my library for book 2, because I'm a little OCD about reading series? Serieses? Series'? Whatev. You get the point. Catch you suckers on the flip side. Peace.

Dinner Night redux: preview

Tomorrow is Sunday and that means it's time for another Romantic Gourmet Dinner Night! Who's excited? Bueller? Bueller?

Anyways... Tomorrow, we're going French with all traditional French food. Complete in 5, count them, 5 courses! But since I'm not big on cheese (I would make a terrible French woman) we will be skipping the tradtional cheese plate. Get over it.

So go out and get yourself a pair of fat pants and wait anxiously for Monday to come to get this food-tastic menu.

Je t'aime, francis!

Romantic Gourmet Dinner Night: take one

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but I was a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell.
Ok, enough with the bad songs.
(Awesomely bad!)
But seriously. Yesterday was the 4th and I spent the day doing absolutely everything with no kind of substance whatsoever. Because it was freaking Independence Day.
And I know I promised pictures, but I somehow lost the cord to my camera and didn't think to take any with my phone. I'm gonna be a cool kid and say a big fat epic fail to that one.
Any who, the menu reads as follows:
Appetizer: Prosciutto and Feta wrapped Asparagus (guess the recipe for that- I dare ya.)

Salad: Spinach, Watermelon, and Mint Salad with homemade vinaigrette.
The salad:10 oz baby spinach leaves; 2c cubed, seeded watermelon; 1 sm red onion; 1c chopped, toasted pecans; 1c mint leaves, finely chopped.
The dressing:1c apple cidar vinegar; 1/4c worcestershire sauce; 1/2c vegetable oil; 1T sesame seeds; 1T poppy seeds; 1/4c white sugar. Now whisk.

Main dish: Vegetable Alfredo with sauteed broccoli, asparagus, and mushrooms

Dessert: Watermelon Oat Crumble
The crumble: 2c rolled oats; 1/2c lt. brown sugar; 1/8c honey; 1tsp cinnamon; 1c chopped pecans; 6c watermelon balls
Mix all but the watermelon and bake at 300 until golden brown. Turn off oven and let cool in oven about 10-15 mins. Serve watermelon in wide mouth glasses with crumble sprinkled over it. Drizzle with honey.

This meal was delish. And pretty easy. Perfect for summer and busy families. We had a Chardonnay and played Tchaicovsky over candle light. I went to bed fat and happy. Caesar would have loved me. And the oat crumble makes a lot. Have it for cereal in the morning. Bon apetit!

Let Me Run An Idea Past You...

My husband works a lot so we hardly ever get to see each other. And he's really into food. In an attempt to spend more time together, I suggested "Romantic Dinner Night."

Pretty much what'll happen is I will write out a menu (themed sometimes), lit some candles, play some music, and have a couples hours with my husband without tv, work, and other such things barging in.

The catch? It's going to be all gourmet food.

My question is: Would you all be interested in the menus? I can post them up here, complete with wine, music choices, and pictures, if you want. I know I'll be making a keepsake box of the menus and recipes. But hey, it's just a thought. Let me know what you think.

First Look: Along Came A spider

I've stayed away from James Patterson, not because I didn't like his books, but on principle. He has so many, always a thousand in a series, and I have always felt that he was grossly overrated.

My brother, however, told me I was being a hipster. And that's no bueno. So I went to the library, found James Patterson's Along Came A Spider (the first Alex Cross book), and started reading.

I still think Patterson is grossly overrated. Too many people have played him up in my mind, so I was a bit disappointed. But he writes well, and the story is starting to catch my interest.

Two questions remain: Do I think this book is worth it? Yes. Do I think James Patterson is the greatest writer of our time? No. But enough. I have more reading to do.

Poison Study: the review... finally

I know it's been, what, a month? My tardiness does not reflect on this book. Maria V. Snyder is one of the best fantasy authors out there. (Non-paranormal anyways.)

I was given her Glass Trilogy a few years back and have been combing used book stores ever since for her first trilogy: the Study Trilogy.

I totally have a fangirl moment every time I pick up one of her books. I've read the Glass Trilogy several times and I know I'll do the same with the Study Trilogy.

While reading Poison Study, I would go to sleep and dream about the book. I would think about it in the shower, taking my dog out, cleaning the house. I ate, slept, and breathed this book. And in my opinion, there is no higher compliment than that.

If you're looking for a clean, non-paranormal fantasy, this is the one. So go pick it up from your local book store. It'll be worth it. I promise.

First Look- Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder

An impromptu reading. Because the last book sucked.

I love Maria V Snyder. I read her Glass Trilogy, a sister trilogy that follows the Study Trilogy. (They can be read without the other.)

From the first page, Ms. Snyder creates a wonderfully gritty and magical world ready to explore. And from the very get go, Yelena, our M.C., invites us to follow her, get to know her, and by the end of chapter 3, want more.

I look forward to finishing this book and the next two. As always with good food, it leaves you craving more.

Attn all: First Ever Requested Review

That's right. I'm so ungodly popular someone asked me to read a book for him and tell him what they should think. (I can talk this way because it's my little brother. And because I am so ungodly popular.)

The book in question is Big Bad Wolf by James Patterson. I realize that some of you have been living under a rock for the past 20 years Geico caveman-style and might not know anything about Alex Cross. That's why I will be starting at the beginning of the almost 20 books long series with Along Came A Spider. I'll pick it up Monday morning and have a first look up Tuesday night. Until then, happy reading!

First Look- The Dress Lodger

Now, I picked this book up because of the cover. As you will learn, I almost always judge my book by its cover. Let's just say I shouldn't have.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you'll already know why. I hate this book. Somebody didn't tell Sheri Holman about the "show don't tell" policy. This would be a good book, if it was written in 3rd person. Possibly even 1st person. But THIS BOOK IS WRITTEN IN 2nd PERSON. It's like watching a movie where only the main character is aware of the camera. And it's all, "you are seeing this," and, "now you should be feeling that." No thanks. I read because I like to create my own world. If I just wanted to be told everything, I'd watch the movie.

As much as 2nd person irks me, I'd probably try to muscle past it, because there are some interesting characters introduced in the first chapter. (That's right. I didn't make it past the second page of chapter two.) However, since Ms. Holman missed her calling as a high school script written, everything is spelled out and the book is very dense. And the language is too rigid. It shows nothing.

In short, reading The Dress Lodger is akin to reading a text book. Boring and frustrating.

The Fifth Mountain- Paulo Coelho

When I started reading The Fifth Mountain, I expected a religious undertone. I expected a novel similar, but inferior, to The Alchemist. I expected an entertaining tale. What I got was an experience.

On the surface, Coelho constructs a story of inner struggle in the story of the Prophet Elijah. But boiling underneath is a profound, heartfelt lamentation of man. A tear jerker to its core, The Fifth Mountain instills a sense of meaning in one's life. Through the loss of his home, his name, his freedom, and the one he loves, Elijah teaches us several lessons to be lived.

The first one being; there are only two things: the temporary and the lasting. The temporary is the unavoidable. The lasting is in the lessons we learn from the unavoidable.

The second is about tragedy. He teaches us that tragedy is not a punishment for the lives we had lived, but a challenge to change them into what we have desired them to be. Tragedy exists to teach us to go onward, however difficult it may appear.

The last lesson we learn from Elijah is that sometimes it is necessary to struggle with God. Man must choose, not accept, his fate. And that God is blinded to those who do not choose. If you simply trust in God because you have been told to, do you truly trust in God? No, the choice must be yours. Only then will you know yourself and can then rename yourself.

Elijah fought God because he did not want to be Chosen. He renamed himself Liberation, meaning he chose his path. And it led him to God.

First Look- The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho

As promised, here's a first look at The Fifth Mountain.
I picked this book up a few years ago from a library book sale because of how my I loved The Alchemist by Coelho. Like a dope I let it sit on my bookshelf collecting dust. (Except for the laminated library cover of course.) And since this is a New Age/Religious book, I found it fitting, seeing as how the world's gonna end in a few days.

Paulo Coelho never ceases to amaze me. If I could have his love child I would. Or at least kidnap him so he would write me stories.

The Fifth Mountain seems to be a man's struggle with his destiny: Being the "Exalted Voice of God" and His avenger.

What more could you want from a story. And that's just the first 3 chapters! (Or at least the prologue.)

Total Facepalm

Just call me stupid. Go ahead. Say it. I promise it won't hurt my feelings. If anyone should be upset, it's you. Because I suck. And I somehow lost my copy of The Painted Kiss.
I promise to start a new book and have a First Look up tonight.
Again, I suck.

First Look: The Painted Kiss

Sorry it's been so long. I've been busy lately. I've just started on the early stages of making my own comic book. So I've been busy, busy, busy like a really big bee. (Points if you get the reference.)
I am now on the first page of the 4th chapter of The Painted Kiss. That's right! First Look time!
The Painted Kiss is very wordy. An excellent example of purple prose. But in this case, it's perfectly at home as the book is a historical fiction taking place at the turn of the century. Everyone was wordy back then, so it fits. From the first page, I was "drawn" right into the pages as our heroine flees the pressing War. However, I will say hide yo kids from this book. Even the first chapter made me blush like a nun at an orgy.

Gone by Michael Grant

What can I say other than: Oh my freaking god! Gone was amazing. A wonderfully gritty story, truly a monomyth worthy of Campbell himself, Gone takes place in a not quite post apocalyptic world where barely-teenage bullies reign supreme. We follow young Sam through much of the story as he comes to grips with the lies his mother told him and his rapidly changing body (some things weirder than puberty, as he would say). His story is the epitome of "the reluctant warrior is often the bravest" saying.

For all of you saying, "But it's just a kid's book. It can't be that good." You better check yourselves. It's because the character list is made up of children that makes this book. If it featured adults, it'd suck. Just saying.

It's a fast read, but a good read. I wanted to savor it, to roll it on my tongue as I devoured it. Yeah. It was that good.

If you don't mind shopping in the young adult section, I highly recommend it. And if you do mind, man up already! Didn't you see me write that Gone is a must read?

First Look- Gone

I'm 3 chapters into Gone by Michael Grant and that means it's First Look time.
First off, Gone is the first novel in a YA series. There are currently 3 books out. And I believe that 3 chapters is plenty to base a first impression on. Let me tell ya, Gone will either be great, or be gone from my bookshelf. I have some high hopes for it. The set up has been pretty cool, reminding me of an episode of Stargate: Atlantis. I'll delve into that later. But for now, I'm Gone! (Ok, enough with the bad puns.)

Books I'm Reading

Here is a list of books I'm reading. Some are old, some new, and one is even blue. But I digress.

Gone- Michael Grant
The Painted Kiss- Elizabeth Hickey
The Dress Lodger- Sheri Holman
The Thirteenth Tale- Diane Setterfield
The Lake of Dreams- Kim Edwards

I promised to post the minute one is finished. And, as always, if you have certain books or series you would like me to read before you, don't be shy. Leave a comment and I'll go get the book. And if you're an author/publisher and you'd like me to do a review for you, feel free to email me.
P.S. I always enjoy ARCs!

The Literary Diet: I Eat Books For Breakfast

What's the true "Breakfast of Champions?" Is it Frosted Flakes and a glass of OJ? Nuh-uh. I don't think so. Nope, around these parts it's a big, thick, musty tome. My job is to tell you how bad it tasted. (Or how scrumptious.) And I've got quite an appetite. But be warned: I tend to get the odd craving for junk food.